PART 3: Third Stage & Post Birth

First meet

Stark Light

Overwhelming emotion

Who are you?

Far messier than a homebirth

All hands on deck

Daddy cuddles

Mummy cuddles

First attempt at breastfeeding

Check out the nappy

Placenta

Encapsulation

PART 3 Stage 3 labour & post birth

I could easily leave my story there, welcoming our beautiful girl and feeling on top of the world. The blog was definitely long enough! But I feel like theres still unfinished business. More conversations women need and want to have, and should feel comfortable in sharing. I think sometimes we shut our partners out, we write them off as not ever being able to comprehend or understand what were going through, and so maybe we don’t bother trying to explain to them. Or anyone for that matter. Its very easy to feel alone in the world, communication is so important.

Ive learnt that more than ever in the last few years. Men might not be able to understand what we women go through during labour, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to. It doesn’t mean they don’t want to be involved (maybe some don’t!). I know my partner wanted to be as involved as possible. He wanted to know how he could support me, and he felt useless most of the time, unable to relieve my pain. He was also left out of the whole process, especially with our first. Not just during labour, but afterwards. Yes women do all the physical work, but they work hard and stress helplessly to! And when baby arrives, its all about the precious little bundles and their amazingly strong mumma’s. I personally just want to thank my amazing partner, that made it all possible- i couldn’t have done it without you!

With communication in mind, lets gain more understanding and awareness on stage 3 of labour. Birthing the placenta. Many women aren’t even aware of this stage, and no wonder when they have a beautiful little human at the centre of their universe. Sometimes we are unconscious during this stage, or are unable to make decisions. I still think it is a beautiful part of the process as a whole, and should be valued for what it is. Let me share with you our wishes for this stage and post birth with our two children.

Firstly, Dale had the symbolic task of cutting the cord with both of our kids. And with the help of our midwife, in our home, we chose to tie Raine’s cord with some beautiful handmade (by me) cord ties.

Secondly, it was my wish to birth the placenta on my own also. To me it was important to follow through with the whole journey into motherhood (for the second time), and that meant embracing every aspect of what it meant to carry this child. Feeding them, nurturing them to grow and develop in utero. I was pretty damn grateful of that placenta. So it was my wish to decline the injection of Syntocinon which many women are given to stimulate their bodies to release the placenta, and prevent excessive blood loss. My body had released the hormones and sent the signals necessary to detach my placenta once my daughter was born, and with the confidence from my first birth, I knew it was capable second time also.

Whilst I trusted I could birth the placenta on my own, after such huge and intense pushes (with no voluntarily control of my body) during birthing, I couldn’t bring myself to deliver the placenta. My midwife checked and was certain it had detached. But after approximately 2 hours of beautiful bonding with my daughter in the warmth of the birth pool, I agreed it was time. I needed assistance in the form of very gentle traction on the cord.

Now whilst i’m completely ok with this very minor assistance during my childbirth, it also made me realise in hindsight, I was in shock. Not the blatantly obvious going cold, blood pressure dropping, excessive blood loss, not being able to speak kind of shock- but emotionally and mentally in shock all the same. I couldn’t think clearly. I felt uneasy. I knew I had done it, and I was happy, but I felt disconnected. Like I was watching my body from the outside. I didn’t shed a single tear of joy like I had with Cohan. I know in other circumstances I definitely would have requested more time or built up the stamina and “courage” (Mummas you all know what bearing down post childbirth is like!) to deliver my placenta myself. Because that was my goal, i had that belief in myself. Independence. Connection. Self belief.

I was still able to keep my placenta. Sadly we didn’t get any photos of it this time unlike at my sons birth; or of my beautiful cord ties (obviously in shock). But I was still able to encapsulate it- thanks to the amazing help of my partner in preparing it. It was dehydrated, milled into powder form and placed into capsules. Im still taking them now. Not everyones cup of tea in know! But I definitely feel it has made a difference for me when I take them. I took them with both my children and never had any issues with milk supply in the early stages. I never experienced ‘Baby Blues’ and I had plenty of energy. But that is just my experience, and I think its important to know what options we have in life when making decisions for our own health and happiness.

My birth was in no way at all traumatic compared to what some women experience. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that I still needed to talk about it (and still do obviously!). About how it made me feel, about that disconnect I experienced. I wasn’t going to feel at ease until I had. So many women don’t get that opportunity, and certainly didn't years ago. Some don’t give themselves permission to do this either. Its not the social norm to be so open about our bodily functions and feelings- male or female. So I just want to say to everyone; be kind to yourself. Don’t be afraid to share things, you are never alone in feeling them. Especially when it comes to childbirth.

x

Here are some photos of my birth at hospital with my son. It is interesting seeing the comparison between the environments at hospital, and the peaceful home birth i had with my daughter.