PART ONE: I gave birth to my baby girl in our living room

So this topic has been a long time coming, and i'm surprised it has taken me this long to write. I mean yes, life is hectic now with 2 kids under 18months. But this topic is so important to me, and the whole journey had so much time and energy invested into it that i feel its worth sharing...

I gave birth to my baby girl at home. To be more precise i gave birth in a birthing pool in the middle of our lounge room. Why? Because i felt designed to do it. I felt like i needed to bring her into the world this way. Not only to empower myself, those women around me that maybe have just a sliver of 'madness' in them, but mostly i did it to empower my baby girl.

Before meeting this wild, huge hearted, content little human- i felt this huge pull to strip myself back. To find out what makes me who i am, and further more what makes me a WOMAN. Man thats strangely a title i have never worn with confidence. I've never felt womanly ENOUGH. Or maybe i've just never felt enough? I don't know if its society these days or just a girls warped perception of it, but as a woman i have never felt like what i am or have achieved is enough. Why is it we expect so much more of ourselves than our male counterparts? Why is it we find it so hard to feel satisfied? Again, maybe its just me. But i've spent a long time thinking there must be something wrong with me and i'm finally starting to realise that i'm not alone in feeling this way.

So what you are probably thinking at this point is, this woman is crazy, she gave birth at home just to feel like a woman and she says she did it for her child? Exactly. I want my baby girl to grow up knowing how powerful she is, never putting limits on herself, and in that same sense, never feeling like she isn't enough and needs to give more of herself to please others. I feel like a lot of us women have forgotten how incredible we are! (sigh, another feminist on a rant here we go)

No but seriously, our bodies know how to merge two sets of DNA and create life, how to multiply and grow an unimaginable number of cells until it resembles a human being and after 9 months (sometimes more, sometimes less), it knows how to bring that life from inside the walls of our body to the completely foreign and scary outside world. Does that blow anyone else's mind? Our bodies are incredible. And we who inhabit them are incredible.

That aside, my birth was everything i had hoped it would be, and at the same time nothing like it. After months of second guessing our decision for numerous reasons, and never feeling like i had done enough preparation regardless of how much i read/watched/listened to, i actually went to see an antenatal counsellor. I knew there were blocks emotionally and im thankful that im in tune with my body enough and have a good understanding of it to know, these would have without a doubt in my mind caused some kind of complication. As an Osteopath, i had already committed to continuous Osteopathic care throughout my pregnancy to ensure my body was adapting as it should be and no restrictions were being put on my babe's correct positioning in my womb and their exiting the arena. I'd also like to mention here that manual therapy throughout pregnancy will go a long way in helping prevent serious discomfort as your body grows and changes. I also believe that care from early on in your labour will without a doubt aid your body in being able to naturally initiate and progress throughout your labour. (PS. Its National Osteopathy Awareness Week- go find out more about what we can do, and get yourself an Osteo!)

With everything aligning for me within the last few weeks of pregnancy i felt ready to welcome our baby into the world. With the same apprehension that every expecting mother experiences- "when and where will i go into labour", "will i be able to do it", "will my baby be ok", "am i having a boy or a girl?" That last question i was 100% sure of in the two weeks prior- and i was right! With renewed energy in the last few days i decided to get out, and give our dog Tux some decent exercise. God knows when he'd be getting it next when i was juggling 2 kids and a recovering body. A long 10+km walk and come 3am the next morning, Friday 16th February, i was lying wide awake spooning my son to sleep after maybe an intermittent 3hours of sleep. "Oh i think i'm in labour". A good half an hour wait confirmed my suspicions and i went to wake my partner in our bed...

Stay tuned for PART TWO coming very soon i promise ;)